Right On Al!

Dear American People Who (More or Less) Elected the Current Occupant:

• Your guy called his war on terrorism a crusade, jump-starting the dissipation of worldwide sympathy and support for America five days after the airliners hit the towers. (FYI, the Muslims do in fact remember the last time the West tried one of those. Just in case you thought it had slipped their minds.)
• Our guy is crusading to, quite literally, save the world. Or at least anyone vulnerable to rising oceans, crop failures, massive refugee migrations, and the resulting wars. He probably isn't going to do much for the gated-estate crowd, as their money insulates them from these little whoopsies. Which is odd, since he has enough geld to shut out the world if he wanted to, instead of busting his ass trying to better it.
  

• Your guy did a "heckuva job" letting an American seaside city drown.
  
• Our guy has spent years working to keep cities all over the world from drowning.

• Your guy started a war of aggression and lied about his reasons for it. (Since the Taliban were hiding and abetting Osama, I'm giving him a pass on the initial foray into Afghanistan and attempting to kick their odious butts. I supported it at the time, and I won't pretend now that I didn't.)
• Our guy warned you in 2002 that invading Iraq would be a complete quagmire. Quelle suprise! It's a complete quagmire.

• Your guy famously shoves his foot in his mouth every time he opens it.
• Our guy's documentary won an Academy Award in part because he's charming, witty, erudite, eloquent, and right.

• Your guy has been busily building a police state based partly on tapping the Internet which
• Our guy, while never claiming to have invented it, was a key force in making happen (as acknowledged by Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn, two of its major pioneers, in 2000).

• Your guy started two wars and appears to be losing both of them, destroying our worldwide credibility and much of our military in the process.
• Our guy won the Nobel Peace Prize this morning.

• Your guy's minions and minders slandered, ridiculed, and shamelessly lied about our guy.
• Our guy, among other stand-up moments, publicly declined to contest the extremely dubious results of the 2000 election, saying in part,

Now the U.S. Supreme Court has spoken. Let there be no doubt, while I strongly disagree with the court's decision, I accept it. I accept the finality of this outcome which will be ratified next Monday in the Electoral College. And tonight, for the sake of our unity of the people and the strength of our democracy, I offer my concession. I also accept my responsibility, which I will discharge unconditionally, to honor the new president elect and do everything possible to help him bring Americans together in fulfillment of the great vision that our Declaration of Independence defines and that our Constitution affirms and defends.

• Last time one of your guys won a Nobel Peace Prize, it was (a) over a third of a century ago and (b) awarded for a ceasefire in a war he helped vigorously and viciously prosecute at the cost of some hundreds of thousands of lives at the very least. Tom Lehrer remarked that political satire had died that day. And that was before we knew about Operation Condor.
• Five years ago, when one of our guys won, it was for "decades of untiring effort to find peaceful solutions to international conflicts, to advance democracy and human rights, and to promote economic and social development." Which effort, by the way, he's still banging away at. I don't think he or Al will really need an institute to keep propagandizing their worth after they've retired from active life. Their work speaks for itself. As does W.'s, really.

Just so we're all clear on that.